Ben M. Smith

I thought I had finally come up with a way to recap the past two months in a simple format: two posts, one briefly highlighting awesome things which had happened in the second part of the quarter and one covering the not-quite awesome things which had happened.  I started thinking about what I wanted to cover, and honestly, for all the hard work, stress, and frustration that went into this quarter, there wasn’t really a “this completely sucks” moment that sticks out in my head.  Which is good; winter term is notorious for being really depressing and gray and desperate because it’s 8 weeks of class, no breaks in awful weather (ah, Indiana, land where the weather literally CANNOT MAKE UP ITS MIND whether to rain or snow).  So, anyways, awesome things.  Here they are.

To start, a few that don’t require much explanation besides a bullet-point mention:

• Having a single
• Volleyball (finally made it to playoffs)
• Grades (3 A’s and a B+)
• Getting a literature minor (a third one I wasn’t expecting to get until I found out I qualified this fall)

Now for those that require a little more explanation.

(more…)

I’m not sure what the me from 3 years ago, just entering Rose would make of me now.  I came into Rose with the goal of working as what I now know is called an SDE (Software Development Engineer) at Microsoft.  Basically, I wanted to be an awesome programmer.  3 years later, I’m looking to be a project manager at Microsoft.  3 years ago, I had no intention of ever being any sort of manager.  So what happened?

Well, for starters, I realized that I wasn’t that great of a programmer.  I’m competent now, but winter of freshman year, I really slipped up with some concepts in CSSE220 and ended up not doing so well in the class.  That class nearly broke me–I considered switching majors (to math), but I decided to give it one more chance in the fall of sophmore year before I completely gave up my dreams of working with computer software.  At the advice of my advisor that spring, since I was looking at doing some form of international experience at the beginning of Junior Year (starting in July and going through November in someplace like Australia), it was suggested I take 371, as I’d likely not find a similar class abroad.  I got special permissions to take the course–I hadn’t taken CSSE230, but the course was mostly writing and didn’t require programming knowledge.  So I took it–felt way out of my depth with the first assignment, but once I got my weird panic in check, I did well on the assignment and continued with the class.  Without that class, I wouldn’t have met my future boss (Nick Ohrn), and I probably wouldn’t have learned that I’m basically awesome when it comes to requirements documentation.  That class re-ignited my passion for Software Engineering–I realized that there are more stages that just coding to professional software development and that I could find a place even if my coding skills weren’t as strong as some of my peers.

I took CSSE372 that year, too–it didn’t seem fair to abandon my project teammate in the next class if the project was to continue.  Then it was announced that projects would be switching between quarters, as would the teams.  My new teammate was the project manager for our project, and didn’t do the best job with it–I remember getting emails 5 minutes apart, one praising my work and the other telling me to step it up.  It was mixed messages, to say the least.  There were a lot of times where I felt I could have done a better job, but we did the best job we could and finished the course.  If nothing else, I learned where to improve my own skills when leading a project.  That’s about the time I realized I wanted to be what Microsoft calls a Program Manager–I need to be knowledgeable about code and what developers are capable, but my strengths lie more in defining the project’s scope and requirements and keeping people on task so that things get done on time and under budget.

The career fair was this past Wednesday, and I had a pretty good outcome from it.  One of the companies I’m looking at seemed really confused by my applying for what they call a PM, though–they don’t consider it a technical position.  The rep was almost nasty with me, trying to force me to apply for the software developer position instead and claiming that they only hire business majors for the position.  I knew for a fact their website listed the position under software jobs (also noting it was open to “all majors”) and that what the job entailed was a perfect fit with what I had been doing this summer, but was so flustered by her attitude that I didn’t bring it up.  I was offered an interview on the spot, and I accepted her offer–it was the first time that had happened at a career fair for me, so I was excited to get that.  The next day, I was fortunate enough to interview with the other person from the company at the fair–one of their developers.  I made sure he knew I was interested in the PM position, and although he was more receptive when I gave him my reasons, he still seemed skeptical that someone “with as much technical knowledge as [me]” would want this non-technical job.  I tried my best to explain to him the benefits of having a technical person who can “speak customer” in this role would be–someone like this can be an advocate for the customer’s needs with developers and an advocate for the developer’s limitations with the customer.  I’m not sure I’m the person the company’s looking for, but I’ve been invited to the next step of the process.  I guess we’ll see.

On another note, when I got back from the career fair, I had an invitation to interview by phone with Microsoft waiting for me–I had worried with them not being at the career fair my application would be lost in the pile of all the other online applicants.  Here’s hoping that one goes well–I’d love to get to second round with them this year.

There’s been a lot going on recently that’s ticked me off or put me in a fouler mood, most of which has been omitted from here since I’ve either been too busy to post about it or I felt it didn’t need a second life online.  Anyways, for all the good things that are happening, I’ve mostly been focusing on the bad.

That changed after lunch today.

A few of my good friends are part of the Jewish Culture club on campus, which had a table in the lobby because today was Rosh Hashanah (hereafter abbreviated as RH), the Jewish New Year.  He caught D and I on our way out of lunch, asking us to take  RH with him, and that it would only take a minute.  I had wanted to ask him why, for a second week in a row, there wasn’t a music column in the paper (I’ve written one, as has another DJ, and we figured at least one would be in the paper this week), but decided to wait until after what he had to say.

One of the symbolic foods of RH is an apple slice dipped in honey, representing the sweet things in the year to come.  As we had our apple, he talked about how it was sweet, perhaps too sweet, but just right.  He then told us to think about the good things, the things that drive us to do better, for at least the rest of the day, if not the rest of the year.  And that resonated with me, enough so that I no longer cared that my music review wasn’t in the paper for two weeks in a row.  And the message also made me feel at peace.  And I think it did that for D too, who’s been dealing with even more shit than I have recently.

Will the bad stuff continue to happen?  I’m sure it will, especially with my current suitemates and their various hangers-on.  But I think I’m going to try and keep the RH message in mind–focus on the good that happens and the things that drive me–to get through it.