Ben M. Smith

It’s that time again.  The posters (and post-it notes, in one case) have come down, my life is in boxes again, and the school year is done.  I’m graduating.  I’m excited about it, but it’s not really showing externally.  I think I’m dealing with a sensory overload of sorts — there’s too much input, so I can’t process any output just yet.  Rather than feebly attempt to recap the last month freehand, let’s revisit the goals I set at the beginning of the year (and revised midway through) to see how I did.

Have a Kickass Senior Project

Mission Fucking Accomplished.  I couldn’t be prouder of the final product my team produced for our senior project client.  Our client was blown away by the work we did, out adviser was blown away that our client was blown away, and in the end we all got expensive steaks at a very nice restaurant in Terre Haute.  Did we get top senior project, as was my ultimate goal?  No, and while I don’t entirely agree with one of the projects that received the award, I think we got something better.  The week of final project presentations to the juniors, my project adviser (who I have as professor in another class), wouldn’t stop talking about how great my project went.  It came up at least once in every session that week.  I may not have gotten my team on the best project plaque, but I left an indelible mark in our adviser’s memory, and that’s just as good.  I can’t wait to see what’s done with our final product — we were 85% of the way to a professional iPhone app.  The extra 15% shouldn’t be hard to finish on their end.

Get a Job

When Liberty Mutual didn’t work out, I was bummed.  It was the closest I had gotten, but it didn’t go all the way.  I think I knew in the interview, though, that the job wasn’t entirely right for me.  Following up on a job I had applied to using the career center’s website, I got an interview for a QA position with Veson Nautical.  The interview was with a Rose alum, and while things seemed to go good, I had that same feeling of not quite fitting things.  I think my interviewer felt the same way, but he suggested another role at Veson they were hiring for.  I agreed to an interview — the position had the mix of software skills and technical documentation skills I was looking for.  I interviewed for that position a week later, and it went really well.  I knew coming out of the phone interview I was being flown out, and it was confirmed only a couple hours later.  I’ve never had things go that fast with a company.  In mid-April I flew out and interviewed for the position.  I ended up talking with about 1/3 of the company by the end of the day, and had a really good feeling that I had found the right place, even if it wasn’t Seattle like I had been working towards.  After about a week of waiting, I got an offer, which I accepted.  I have a job now!  In an exciting locale!  Everything is coming together and it feels great.  Now to find an apartment.

Cook at least once a month

This wasn’t a goal so much as a reminder to keep being awesome even when CS’s cooking got me down.  I made awesome tacos, shepherd’s pie, chicken soup, and all sorts of other wonderful recipes.  Going to keep this up as I start living on my own, probably with even more frequency.  I should start taking more photos of what I make, though.  That’s a good new goal: more food photos.

Be More Social/Go Out More

I’m still working on this.  SNL Saturdays are good, but as I move to a city where I’m unfamiliar with most people, I need to start doing more to meet people.  Here’s to another year of going outside my comfort zone.

And that’s it, for now.  More blogging when I’m less consumed by packing and moving.  And graduation.

Part II’s when (and if) I get the job.

It’s been clear Liberty Mutual has liked me as a candidate.  They reached out to me pre-career fair in January, they followed up a few days after our initial interview instead of a couple weeks as I had been told, and they flew me, all costs paid, to Seattle.  I’m really glad they did, too–it’s made me want to work for them even more.  I can’t discuss the details of my interviews, but I left feeling confident in how I had presented myself, and felt I really clicked with the interviewers.

It’s been over a week since I went, and I think I’m still processing all that went on in that short period.  I’m going to bullet-point a few observations, then talk about what was probably the best 20 minutes I spent in my time in Seattle.

• Holy crap.  I’m an adult now.  That didn’t register with me until I realized I was going to be driving to the airport, flying to a city I hadn’t been to before, and renting a car and hotel room by myself, all in a 2 day period.
• I love living in the age of the internet.  Made me feel totally confident about all of the above travel details.  Not only can I get driving directions and the trip details (Liberty had my entire itinerary in one spot–quite nice), but I can look for landmarks to ease my drives and check out the hotel’s policies beforehand.
• The Hotel Monaco in Seattle is awesome.  They made my (brief) stay really nice, the room was easily the nicest I’ve every been in, and the front desk people/valet made checking in/out a breeze when I’d never done either by myself before.
• That said, I’m still not used to being called Mr. Smith.  Not sure I ever will be.
• Walking in the rain was unpleasant, but meeting with Nick Ohrn for coffee was a highlight of the trip.  I got to see the Seattle Public Market (at least the entrance) on my walk to the coffee place.  Really got me pumped up for the interviews the next day.
• The first part of the flight back was awesome.  I got to watch Planet 51 (not the best movie, but perfect for a flight, and it had its moments), 30 Rock, and Parks and Recreation instead of wearing out the battery of my iPod.  It was a nice change.  The second flight, a regional one, was less enjoyable, mostly because the plane was so much smaller.

Okay, enough summary.  Onto my favorite part of the trip (also coffee is a close second): going to the Central Library.

I got back to my hotel at 11:30 or thereabouts.  I quickly changed clothes and packed things up, then headed down to the front desk to see if I could check out a half hour later than the listed time.  This was alright, so I headed across the street to the library.  Nick recommended I check it out if I had the time (and I didn’t need to head to the airport until about 1 at the latest), so I took the chance.  Totally worth it.  The building is an amazing structure on the outside, but it’s just as beautiful on the inside.  It feels like you’re in a sanctuary for literature and information, and I wish I had a little more time to just sort of soak in the grandeur of the space.  With the time I had, I went almost to the top (there was a tour group in the way of the highest point of the library), navigated some of the book spiral (this is an awesome way to organized the books in a constant loop), and bought souvenirs of my time in the city at the bookstore. The volunteer that rang up my purchases asked what brought me to the library.  I explained the purpose of my trip, which impressed her and the other volunteer.  She gave me a 10% off coupon for the next time I’m at the library’s gift shop — clearly she thinks I’ll be back.

As fast as it went by, I loved the time I spent in Seattle.  Now I’m just looking forward to hearing back from Liberty.

I thought I had finally come up with a way to recap the past two months in a simple format: two posts, one briefly highlighting awesome things which had happened in the second part of the quarter and one covering the not-quite awesome things which had happened.  I started thinking about what I wanted to cover, and honestly, for all the hard work, stress, and frustration that went into this quarter, there wasn’t really a “this completely sucks” moment that sticks out in my head.  Which is good; winter term is notorious for being really depressing and gray and desperate because it’s 8 weeks of class, no breaks in awful weather (ah, Indiana, land where the weather literally CANNOT MAKE UP ITS MIND whether to rain or snow).  So, anyways, awesome things.  Here they are.

To start, a few that don’t require much explanation besides a bullet-point mention:

• Having a single
• Volleyball (finally made it to playoffs)
• Grades (3 A’s and a B+)
• Getting a literature minor (a third one I wasn’t expecting to get until I found out I qualified this fall)

Now for those that require a little more explanation.

(more…)

It’s possibly past or at least close enough to a midpoint since I set some goals in July.  Let’s take a look at how I’m doing so far; an update, of sorts.

Have a kickass senior project

I am doing amazing at this goal.  Our client is awesome–while he’s not always immediately available because of his heavy travel schedule, he’s always quick to respond by email and has even agreed to help us develop our public presentation materials (eliminating some of the worry of what we can/can’t say at these things).  I couldn’t have asked for a better team–we’re committed to working together successfully and we seem to be able to cover for each other’s weak points.  I feel like I could be actually “managing” a bit more — we’re not meeting as often as some of the other project groups.  On the other hand, we don’t need to meet as much–I can generally trust that what my teammates claim will be done will be done by the time it’s due.  Dr. Bohner is proving to be an excellent advisor–while he has the tendency to get off on tangents when we discuss our project with him at our meetings, he’ll be the first to poke us if something needs to get done and offers generally good advice.  I’m glad he’s a bit looser with grading than Sriram was with his teams last term–as much as I like Sriram as a prof, Dr. Bohner’s slightly more laidback attitude as our advisor is a better fit for us.

The tough part, development, starts when we get back.  I’m looking forward to it, though–we’ve broken everything down week by week and should be able to have all of the major necessary features done by the expo, with a few to add spring term before going for some of the more out there “if we have time” features and completing things

Run a puzzle hunt

This one’s completely fallen apart.  It was a good idea, but I find I don’t have the time, and I like being a participant of puzzle hunts much more than a writer.  I’ll add another goal to make up for this one being a bit of a bust.

Get a second-round interview with Microsoft/a job in general

Last year, I got a first-round interview with a Microsoft rep.  I got one this year too, although by phone rather than in person.  It was pretty cool–I got to talk with the head PM of Microsoft Project for an hour, and although I was mixed on how the interview went, I was positive for the most part.  Whether I botched the interview or whether they’re only hiring past interns because of the economy (a rumor I had heard), I didn’t get to the second-round, we-fly-you-out-for-a-few-days interview I was hoping for.  It hurt to get that e-mail; I didn’t even need to open it to know what it said (it came too quickly to be good news).  It couldn’t have come at a better time, though: I was at D’s house for fall break and had to push past the initial shock/sadness (there were tears over that e-mail, in all honesty.  Not many, and not for long, but they were there.) to resolve to enjoy that weekend, and it worked.  Que Sera Sera–whatever will be, will be.

My job search outside of Microsoft hasn’t been doing much better.  I got an interview with Epic on the spot at the career fair–that was really exciting, as that hasn’t happened before.  I enjoyed going through the interview process with them (unusual as it was), even if things didn’t work out — I’m not going to be a perfect fit with every company.  Google hasn’t responded to the application(s) I sent, although I have a contact with one of their people through a cousin, so I’m trying to see if I hear anything back that way.  I figured it couldn’t hurt.

My primary job search sources right now are the Career Services website and Craigslist.  I was wary about Craigslist, but the Software/QA/DBA section is surprisingly good for finding positions.  I have to sift a bit more to find things I qualify for, but I’m at least hearing back from more companies (usually with a “we’ll keep you on file” since they’re looking for someone on shorter notice) than I was with other search engines.  At this point, tenacity is the best thing I can have–if I keep applying, I’m bound to find something.  And if I don’t?  Just like last year, I’ve got a plan B started–it seems like it could be a rally good idea if I can find the customer base and get my feet off the ground

Cook at least once a month

This goal hasn’t been a problem either.  I’ve gone from thinking I was probably a good, not great, cook to realizing that I’m way above average compared to my (current) suitemates.  The years of practice have made me completely at home in the apartment’s kitchen, and while I wish I had some more counter space than I do, I’m really enjoying having the facilities.  One thing that hasn’t changed though, is people who use the kitchen and don’t clean their shit up.  I’m looking at you, CS.

Be More Social/Go Out More

I suck at being social.  I am all too happy to spend hours in my room reading/noodling around on the net instead of hanging out with people doing awesome things.  Unfortunately, I used D as a crutch–he was someone familiar and I could count on being able to hang out with him most of the time, whether in the room or going out to eat on the weekends or doing the radio shows.  With him having left Rose, I need to push myself to not completely alienate myself from others.  I’ve started some of the steps to change this already–even though he’s not here, I’ve still been getting together with the SNL group we started meeting with Fall term–but I need to do more.  I’m going to start by spending more non-project time with my project group–lunch/dinner on the weekends or something.  My academic life is great, but my personal life is in bad need of attention.  This is more of a long-term thing, but it’s a bit more reachable to the puzzle hunt thing.

and that’s where things stand.  More (on the start of winter term/christmas break) later.

CS has pumpkin envy.

It started when D’s parents brought a giant orange pumpkin with them when they came to visit.  CS traditionally brings a shite-ton of pumpkins every year after fall break to give away to people because his family grows far too many of them (at least that’s what he claims), and D had scooped him.  It was hilarious.  After fall break (which I spent with D and his family), no pumpkins emerged when CS returned.  It was eerie.  D and I had brought back a white pumpkin for D’s gf.  Again, scooped, or so we thought.

CS had brought back pumpkins, but he was storing them at his girlfriend’s room in another dorm (she has a single).  20 or so went to her sorority, and the rest appeared in the hallway yesterday.  CS chose the largest one because it was all gnarled and “no one else would want it”.  BS.  He just wanted to compete with D’s pumpkin.  I jokingly told D that CS had “pumpkin envy”.  We laughed, partially because it was possibly true, but also because the pumpkin D brought was one of the SMALL ones from his family, and CS’s largest was barely larger.

In my own way, I think I’ve felt a bit of pumpkin envy.  There’s one member of the senior class who isn’t in my major but takes enough of the classes that he’s probably got a minor.  I’ll call him 1-up, since that’s what he always seems to do when I talk with him.  I hate 1-up, but whenever I see him he’s always talking about the offers he’s received or the interviews he’s being flown out for.  And I get jealous–I’ve heard back from Microsoft and Epic, with both saying they’re going to pursue other candidates, and I’m trying to find other places to apply now that my first  choices aren’t really an option.  I know I shouldn’t let his talk hurt me, but it makes me feel just as inadequate as a SE as the pumpkins D brought made CS feel.

I guess if there’s anything to pull from this, it’s that I shouldn’t do what CS did last night.  He carved about 4 or 5 pumpkins which are outside our room.  He’s showing off, and it’s not making him look any better.

I’m not sure what the me from 3 years ago, just entering Rose would make of me now.  I came into Rose with the goal of working as what I now know is called an SDE (Software Development Engineer) at Microsoft.  Basically, I wanted to be an awesome programmer.  3 years later, I’m looking to be a project manager at Microsoft.  3 years ago, I had no intention of ever being any sort of manager.  So what happened?

Well, for starters, I realized that I wasn’t that great of a programmer.  I’m competent now, but winter of freshman year, I really slipped up with some concepts in CSSE220 and ended up not doing so well in the class.  That class nearly broke me–I considered switching majors (to math), but I decided to give it one more chance in the fall of sophmore year before I completely gave up my dreams of working with computer software.  At the advice of my advisor that spring, since I was looking at doing some form of international experience at the beginning of Junior Year (starting in July and going through November in someplace like Australia), it was suggested I take 371, as I’d likely not find a similar class abroad.  I got special permissions to take the course–I hadn’t taken CSSE230, but the course was mostly writing and didn’t require programming knowledge.  So I took it–felt way out of my depth with the first assignment, but once I got my weird panic in check, I did well on the assignment and continued with the class.  Without that class, I wouldn’t have met my future boss (Nick Ohrn), and I probably wouldn’t have learned that I’m basically awesome when it comes to requirements documentation.  That class re-ignited my passion for Software Engineering–I realized that there are more stages that just coding to professional software development and that I could find a place even if my coding skills weren’t as strong as some of my peers.

I took CSSE372 that year, too–it didn’t seem fair to abandon my project teammate in the next class if the project was to continue.  Then it was announced that projects would be switching between quarters, as would the teams.  My new teammate was the project manager for our project, and didn’t do the best job with it–I remember getting emails 5 minutes apart, one praising my work and the other telling me to step it up.  It was mixed messages, to say the least.  There were a lot of times where I felt I could have done a better job, but we did the best job we could and finished the course.  If nothing else, I learned where to improve my own skills when leading a project.  That’s about the time I realized I wanted to be what Microsoft calls a Program Manager–I need to be knowledgeable about code and what developers are capable, but my strengths lie more in defining the project’s scope and requirements and keeping people on task so that things get done on time and under budget.

The career fair was this past Wednesday, and I had a pretty good outcome from it.  One of the companies I’m looking at seemed really confused by my applying for what they call a PM, though–they don’t consider it a technical position.  The rep was almost nasty with me, trying to force me to apply for the software developer position instead and claiming that they only hire business majors for the position.  I knew for a fact their website listed the position under software jobs (also noting it was open to “all majors”) and that what the job entailed was a perfect fit with what I had been doing this summer, but was so flustered by her attitude that I didn’t bring it up.  I was offered an interview on the spot, and I accepted her offer–it was the first time that had happened at a career fair for me, so I was excited to get that.  The next day, I was fortunate enough to interview with the other person from the company at the fair–one of their developers.  I made sure he knew I was interested in the PM position, and although he was more receptive when I gave him my reasons, he still seemed skeptical that someone “with as much technical knowledge as [me]” would want this non-technical job.  I tried my best to explain to him the benefits of having a technical person who can “speak customer” in this role would be–someone like this can be an advocate for the customer’s needs with developers and an advocate for the developer’s limitations with the customer.  I’m not sure I’m the person the company’s looking for, but I’ve been invited to the next step of the process.  I guess we’ll see.

On another note, when I got back from the career fair, I had an invitation to interview by phone with Microsoft waiting for me–I had worried with them not being at the career fair my application would be lost in the pile of all the other online applicants.  Here’s hoping that one goes well–I’d love to get to second round with them this year.

There’s been a lot going on recently that’s ticked me off or put me in a fouler mood, most of which has been omitted from here since I’ve either been too busy to post about it or I felt it didn’t need a second life online.  Anyways, for all the good things that are happening, I’ve mostly been focusing on the bad.

That changed after lunch today.

A few of my good friends are part of the Jewish Culture club on campus, which had a table in the lobby because today was Rosh Hashanah (hereafter abbreviated as RH), the Jewish New Year.  He caught D and I on our way out of lunch, asking us to take  RH with him, and that it would only take a minute.  I had wanted to ask him why, for a second week in a row, there wasn’t a music column in the paper (I’ve written one, as has another DJ, and we figured at least one would be in the paper this week), but decided to wait until after what he had to say.

One of the symbolic foods of RH is an apple slice dipped in honey, representing the sweet things in the year to come.  As we had our apple, he talked about how it was sweet, perhaps too sweet, but just right.  He then told us to think about the good things, the things that drive us to do better, for at least the rest of the day, if not the rest of the year.  And that resonated with me, enough so that I no longer cared that my music review wasn’t in the paper for two weeks in a row.  And the message also made me feel at peace.  And I think it did that for D too, who’s been dealing with even more shit than I have recently.

Will the bad stuff continue to happen?  I’m sure it will, especially with my current suitemates and their various hangers-on.  But I think I’m going to try and keep the RH message in mind–focus on the good that happens and the things that drive me–to get through it.

Have a kickass senior project

The core part of the senior curriculum for SEs at Rose is the senior project.  It’s a chance to flex all the skills one’s used and create an actual product for an actual company.  Although I initially had reservations about one of the members, time and time again I’ve been reassured that our team is going to work well together.  Our client seems energetic about what we’re doing and willing to lend a hand where we need it, and the project itself (an iPhone application for one of Turner Media’s properties) is cool and also involves a very hot skillset.  I get to be PM, which excites me and makes me nervous at the same time, but I have faith in my team that we’ll deliver a quality product to the client at the end of all this.  At this point, that would make the project a success for me–although getting one of those end of the year awards wouldn’t hurt either.

Run a puzzle hunt

This one’s already in progress.  I’ve loved the last two puzzle hunts I’ve been a part of, and although they tend to bring out the ugly , overcompetitive side of me, I really want to write/run a hunt of my own.  I’ve got a couple writing partners, so hopefully this will work out and spring 2010 will see an awesome hunt.

Get a second-round interview with Microsoft/a job in general

Last year, I got a first-round interview with a Microsoft rep.  That was one of the most exciting moments when I got that email–I ran out of the building to call home as soon as I had confirmed by email that yes, I was interested in an on-campus interview.  While I feel I did really well on the interview, I didn’t end up moving on to the next stage of the interview process.  Looking back, there’s a few things I’d change–indicating products I’d be interested in working on, for one–but overall it was a good experience to actually go through an interview.  This year, I want to get to the next level.  Getting an offer from them awesome, but at the least I’d at least like to get flown out to Redmond.  Microsoft has been my dream job since I came to Rose (although I’ve shifted from wanting to be an SDE to figuring out that coding isn’t my strongest suit to going through 371/372 to wanting to be a Microsoft PM).  I’m not entirely set on them (there’s at least a few other companies I”d want to work for, and there’s always the option of freelancing).  I’m thinking that wherever I end up, I’d like to be away from the Midwest for awhile–a change of scenery always seems to do me well.

Cook at least once a month

I love to cook.  I’ve been cooking since before I hit double digits in age, and I’ve been cooking a lot more since my mom went back to work.  I’m good at it, but my skills tend to atrophy a bit while I’m at school.  It’s not that I don’t have the facilities–all of my dorms so far have had a communal kitchen–it’s just that when the people who use the kitchen frequently don’t fucking clean it up after they’re done, it really diminishes the desire to use them.  All that should change this year–I’m in the apartments.  Hopefully this means I can start experimenting more and cracking open the copy of “The Joy of Cooking” I bought off of eBay.  If nothing else, I’m looking forward to sharing that food with friends.